Author • Recovery Coach • Poet • Artist
Finding wisdom through recovery, sharing truth through words and canvas
Author • Recovery Coach • Poet • Artist
Finding wisdom through recovery, sharing truth through words and canvas
I'm a writer, recovery coach, and what I call a "reluctant recovering sociopath." For forty years, I've been walking a path of recovery from Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), learning what it means to live with radical honesty, accountability, and—slowly, gradually—connection to others.
My journey began in 1985 when I finally surrendered to recovery. Since then, I've spent decades learning to recognize my patterns, understand my ASPD, and develop frameworks that help others with similar struggles. I write about this journey every week on my Substack, sharing the hard-won lessons from four decades of recovery work.
I live in North Carolina with my wife and our dog Koko, who taught me more about presence and patience than any therapy session ever could. Six years ago, Koko and I began daily walks in the Appalachian mountains, and from those walks emerged a daily haiku practice that became my book One Hundred Haiku of God.
My creative practice extends beyond words. For decades, I've worked as a visual artist, painting abstract spiritual works—what I call "souls and etheric subjects." From 2001 to 2003, my work was featured in three galleries in Sarasota, Florida, and I was profiled in The Longboat Key Observer. These paintings emerge from the same place as my writing: an attempt to make visible what's normally hidden, to capture spiritual dimensions on canvas the way haiku captures them in seventeen syllables.
Today, I write, paint, coach others in ASPD recovery, and continue learning what it means to live an examined, honest life.
The Adventures of a Reluctant Recovering Sociopath
A raw, honest memoir chronicling forty years of recovery from Antisocial Personality Disorder. This is the story of what happens when a sociopath decides to get sober, face himself, and learn to live with radical honesty.
From the desperation that finally drove me to sobriety in 1985, through decades of therapy, twelve-step work, and learning to recognize my own manipulation patterns, this memoir holds nothing back.
Reflections from Mountain Walks
Six years of daily walks with my dog Koko in the Appalachian mountains, distilled into haiku. These poems capture moments of grace, questions about divinity, observations of nature, and the quiet wisdom that comes from showing up every day.
Each haiku is a meditation, a question, or a moment of recognition—sometimes all three at once. The collection incorporates haiga, the traditional Japanese art of pairing haiku with visual imagery, featuring my abstract spiritual paintings alongside the seventeen-syllable poems.
Practical Tools for Living with Antisocial Personality Disorder
Ten frameworks I've developed over forty years of ASPD recovery. These aren't theories—they're tools I use every day to recognize my patterns, make better choices, and build genuine connections.
Written for people with ASPD who are serious about recovery, and for therapists working with this population.
Every week, I share stories from my recovery journey—the mistakes, the breakthroughs, the daily practice of living with ASPD. Raw, honest, and occasionally uncomfortable.
Currently publishing a 52-week series that will become my memoir Why, Why...Again?!
Read on SubstackAfter forty years of my own recovery, I offer coaching for people with Antisocial Personality Disorder who are serious about change. This isn't therapy—it's practical guidance from someone who's been there.
Learning to see your manipulation patterns before you act on them. Most people with ASPD don't recognize what they're doing until after. I help you develop real-time awareness.
Building structures that help you stay honest when your default is deception. We create practices that work with your ASPD tendencies, not against them.
Understanding how to build genuine connections when you lack natural empathy. This is learnable—I've spent decades figuring out how.
Adapting twelve-step principles for ASPD. Traditional recovery programs weren't designed for us, but they can work with the right modifications.
Note: I work with people who are already in therapy and committed to recovery. Coaching supplements professional treatment, it doesn't replace it.
Six years ago, I began writing one haiku every day during my morning walks with Koko. What started as a meditation practice became a collection, and eventually, a published book.
The discipline of haiku—seventeen syllables to capture a moment—forces precision. No room for manipulation or clever evasion. Just what is.
My haiku practice extends into the visual realm through haiga—the traditional Japanese art form of pairing haiku with visual imagery. In my collection, poems are accompanied by abstract spiritual paintings, creating a dialogue between word and image, between the seventeen syllables and the brushstroke. Haiga bridges my poetry and painting practices into a unified contemplative art form.
Sample Haiku
Morning mist reveals
What darkness carefully hid—
Truth needs no permission
From One Hundred Haiku of God
This daily haiku practice—seventeen syllables to capture a moment—forces precision. No room for manipulation or clever evasion. Just what is. The same principle guides my visual art: making visible what's normally hidden, whether through words or through paint.
For decades, I've worked in oil and acrylic, creating abstract spiritual paintings. I paint what I call "souls and etheric subjects"—attempting to make visible on canvas what exists beyond our ordinary perception.
Gallery Representation (2001-2003)
• Three galleries in Sarasota, Florida
• Sold approximately a dozen original works
• Featured artist profile in The Longboat Key Observer
My approach to painting mirrors my recovery work: I begin with honesty about what I'm actually sensing, not what I think I should be painting. Each canvas starts as meditation, an attempt to quiet the manipulative voice that wants to create what will sell or impress, and instead allow what wants to emerge.
The abstract spiritual work—painting souls, etheric subjects, energy fields—requires the same vulnerability as writing about ASPD recovery. Both practices demand that I trust what I'm perceiving, even when it can't be proven or explained. Both require letting go of control.
My paintings also appear as haiga—illustrated haiku—in my poetry collection One Hundred Haiku of God. This traditional Japanese art form pairs the seventeen-syllable poem with visual imagery, creating a dialogue between word and canvas. The same abstract spiritual painting that stands alone as fine art can also serve as contemplative illustration for a haiku, showing how my creative practices are fundamentally unified.
I maintain a limited portfolio of available works and occasionally accept commissions for spiritual abstract pieces.
Interested in viewing current work or discussing a commission? Get in touch
"Painting souls is not about technique—it's about being willing to see what's actually there, beneath the surface. That's the same skill recovery requires: learning to see yourself honestly, without the comfortable lies."
Whether you're interested in ASPD recovery coaching, have questions about my books, want to inquire about viewing or commissioning artwork, or want to discuss collaborative projects, I'm open to conversation.
Email: Terry@batbuilders.com
Substack: terrywraybowling.substack.com
I typically respond within 48 hours. If you're in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health professional or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.